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Rick Scott Delays Debate Over A Fan

At tonight’s Florida gubernatorial debate, incumbent Republican Governor Rick Scott delayed – and nearly refused to participate in – tonight’s debate because of the presence of a regular old fan.

We here at American Bridge were stunned (like just about everyone else in the country following the debate). So we tried to come up with a list of reasons why Scott could have been so afraid of a fan. Here’s our best college try:

Top 7 Reasons Rick Scott Could Have Been Afraid of a Fan

1. They’re so distracting

2. They’re hard to hold onto

3. TOO MUCH BREEZE

4. They can make you dizzy

5. DANGER

6. They ruffle your feathers

7. They make you sleepy